Disney... innocence or innocence lost?

We had a fascinating discussion in my gender & race bias in popular culture class last night. It started by discussing the sorts of toys and games we played with as children and if we were pushed into certain roles due to gender. It brought up painful memories for me of being the "odd" one in my family because I didn't like to play with dolls (although I was told I should), didn't want to wear dresses (and was made to wear them anyway), and didn't like the Little House on the Prairie books (and was reminded numerous times of how my cousin had already read hers). Clearly, I wasn't very good at being a girl.

The class discussion morphed into discussing Disney and we watched an hour long film analyzing the content of Disney films. I have to saw it was disturbing to say the least.

I loved Disney movies growing up, but as an adult I have a love/hate relationship with the films. I do feel like they promoted very unrealistic expectations for relationships. Certainly they promoted the notion that girls are in need of rescuing.

But this film really shed light on a much more pervasive issue. Everyone knows the early Disney films were full of racial stereotypes, some bordering on blatant racism ("Song of the South", anyone?) but I never really thought about some of the anti-feminist undercurrents. One of the examples given was Beauty and the Beast. I loved this story as a child, but watching the film as an adult is a bit disturbing. The notion that a movie would advance the idea that this man (beast, no less) can be violent, yell, be abusive, threaten to starve her, and yet if she only remains sweet and patient, he'll magically turn into a great guy is poisonous. This idea that if she just takes the abuse a little bit longer, it will be just enough to change him. This is an incredibly dangerous idea to put into little girls' minds. Never mind the unrealistic expectations of going about your merry little way cleaning house after 7 little men and magically you're discovered by your prince. This is something much worse.

I was one of those girls who as a teenager and even a young adult, held on to this idea that if I just put up with a little bit more, if I just didn't rock the boat and took whatever behavior was being given, that I would win his love. I had to be a "good girl." It set me up to be a victim. I was ripe for the picking because I had been conditioned to accept bad behavior, and the path to love was paved with complaints unspoken. I just assumed it was because no one thought enough of me to empower me with knowledge to the contrary. But now I wonder. If I hadn't had these ideas put into my head and reinforced over and over, would I have had more self respect? And in turn, commanded respect from men?

I think I'm glad I don't have a daughter. The pressure. But I am raising a man. And I have a pretty good idea of the kind of man not to teach him to be.

Women Food and God

I'm about halfway through this book. Honestly, it's not the earth-shattering, life altering book Oprah made it out to be, however, it is a good book. The philosophy is simple: live in the moment. Simple idea. Impossible to execute. I envy people who can live in the moment. Really. Pea green with envy, here, but as much as I want to be that person, I can't get there.

I can't figure out if this is just a talent I simply don't have, or is it a discipline that only takes practice? I want to believe the latter is true, but I'm afraid I'm just not built that way. I think I'm doomed to be the sum of my past. I know that I have spent the last 10 years of my life licking wounds that are impossible to heal.

The rub is that they aren't meant to. They are what makes me who I am, but somewhere along the way I let them go from shaping me, strengthening me, to suffocating me, crippling me. I do know that for too long I have given too many people too much power over my emotional well-being.

This book isn't without its great life lessons. The question is, can I apply them?

Highlights from the book I'm trying to hold on to:

"If you start with the thing you find most beautiful and trace its perfume back to its essence, you will perceive an intangible presence, a swath of stillness that allows the thing you love to be visible like the openness of the sky reveals the present of the moon."

"Women turn to food when they are not hungry because they are hungry for something they can't name: a connection to what is beyond the concerns of daily life."

"You can't be stuck if you're not trying to get anywhere."

"... when we allow ourselves to feel the full heat of anger without expressing it, a mountain of strength and courage is revealed."

Willow... being Willow.

Second Verse Same As The First....

So when I created my original blog, I wasn't using gmail. Then I got an Android phone (aawwwweeeesome!) and started using gmail. However, I didn't realize the blog was tied to my Google account. So, I had to recreate it. I don't mind. I needed the hiatus. Honestly, I don't think anyone reads this thing but me. I think I've become one of those obnoxious people who just like to hear myself talk. It's cool though. I can live with that.